It's like a shady version of "Married At First Sight" except instead of just flat not telling you they switch up the pictures. It's like putting a dollar into a vending machine expecting a Dr. Pepper but receiving a Dr. Thunder. A complete disappointment. Another bit about the show is how do you totally reject someone with serious emotional problems. If you're going way out of your way to make someone fall in love with fake you, real you must be for real messed up. And I've seen some episodes where the two reconnect and continue dating and it kind of scares me because the catfisher must be extremely emotionally volatile. You literally have to be the heart SWAT team with them at all times.
But that's not really the point of this entire post. I think what fascinates me most about the show is the idea that you can seriously fall in love with someone and you have no idea what they look like at all. Maybe I'm snobbish, I don't know but my motto is "pics or it didn't happen".. I don't know maybe I'm high maintenance? but a few Skype calls would be nice, a Facebook with more than 20 friends would be preferred, an address that isn't a PO box, and maybe a mutual friend would be beneficial. I also have no room to speak about any of this because I am a perpetually single middle class suburban girl who writes blog posts in her free time instead of going to get turnt, BUT I DIGRESS. It's odd.
I think I'm too smart to get tricked into being in love with someone from the internet, but then again, I was a One Direction fan when they had exactly 0 songs released, so my brain activity may very well be limited. And I know a lot of people argue that they were "blinded by love", but, anyway, I'm still a huge skeptic about everything. If I'm at a deli and you tell me the cheese I'm buying is from Paris, I'm checking the serial number to make sure you didn't conveniently leave of the "Texas" part. And I know I'm weird, but I'm not a lame-o-zoid creep face who is going to devote so much time to stealing pictures online, so my chances of being on Catfish and meeting Nev "Heart Throb" Schulman are small.
I've thought it through and even though someone stealing my pictures really creeps me out, one thing reigns true: someone using my pictures to catfish another person is pretty cool. It's kind of like you are the epitome of everything the catfish wants to be. You've got the right hair, makeup, face, proportions, and, well, pictures. And if you ask me it'd be kind of flattering. I guess if someone I don't know came up to me and told me they've been dating me for 2 years I'd be really creeped out, but the idea of being basically perfect to minimum 2 people seems fun. Someone for years would have had to Facebook stalk you, keep up with your current events and build a make believe life all around you based on bits and bobs, which yeah is really creepy...the more that I think about this, the more weirded out I am.
I would like to recant my previous statement. Please do not use my pictures to catfish someone, or at least don't tell me so I can act surprised when Nev calls me to ask if my name is Mary Claire and I have to tell him I'm Maame B and totally confused.
Sure, being in a love ponzi scheme isn't the best situation in the world, but the best position to be in when on the show "Catfish" is not as the stupid idiot that fell in love with a picture, or the creepo behind the fake identity, but as the real deal 100% official real life verified bystander-semi-victim. It's like the Beverly Hills of catfishing and in the words of Weezer: that's where I wanna be.
Pictured: The crew of MTV's "Catfished" in a quick photo-op.
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